Learning To Hate You

I'm learning to hate you
Because hurting and loving you hurts too much.
I'm trying to stop trying to placate you
Trying to get you back.

Why did you tell me that whilst you still love me
You couldn't deal with a relationship?
Can't you see that (when you still played with me)
It only hurt more since you obviously could?

You should have just told me you didn't love me;
I think I'd have dealt with that better than this.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that I'd stand by you -
I was just trying to be your friend.

Why did you do this? Why couldn't you be happy?
Why did you have to make me feel
So bad after making me feel so good?
So I have no idea what to do now;
Whether I should tell you to get the hell out of my life.

If I were to decide that then
How would I go through with it?
I don't want to lose you but you've already gone.
Why did you do this? Why couldn't you be happy?
And why am I still so surprised
When I let you fuck me
That I ended up fucked?

2/2/00